Paparazzi Parenting

May 17th, 2006

I’m not going to use the word “Oops”, but Britney Spears is now the hot topic for child safety. I have to admit that having your baby sit on your lap while driving is bad, but now she is being criticized for her baby’s car seat orientation. As a parent, I realize that you already have two too many people criticizing your parenting: your mother and your mother in-law.

Sure, parenting has changed over the past thousand years, but I don’t remember ANY child safety seats when I was a toddler. If you sat in the front seat (gasp), you didn’t wear a seat belt because nobody did. Your mother was trained that when she slammed on the brakes, it was her duty to forego the honking of the horn and immediately extend her right arm across all of the occupants of the front seat, thus producing the necessary restraint and preventing the projection of children through the windshield. As we got older and more fidgety, we spent our time in the back seat making complaints like, “he’s touching me!” In this case, no safety was required for we had the large, front bench-style seat to protect us. In fact, to get the best view, we often stood behind the seat adding to the fun.

Now we have infant car seats, toddler car seats, small children seats, etc. The Latch System is now as standard a feature as cupholders. Hospitals won’t even let you take your baby out of the hospital without one. They don’t seem to care if you are driving them home on a motorcycle, just as long as they are strapped into a “baby bucket.” Now I understand why infants should face rearwards as they don’t have the neck strength and slamming on their breaks would injure their them. Before airbags, we could place them in the front seat so you could at least see their face. It’s ironic that now the airbags used to protect adult passengers can be deadly to our precious cargo.

As a first-time parent, you need to constantly see your baby to make sure they are simply breathing. Sometimes you visit them in the middle of the night and wake them just to check. I knew things were different with our second child when bringing him home, my wife and I were both in the front seat; baby in back (rear facing of course). I stated that I couldn’t see him and she said, “He’s fine.”

Now they have mirrors that you can mount so that you can look in your rear-view mirror and see another mirror that allows you to see the baby while you are driving. Lining these up requires a degree in optics however. I also learned that I can also use this double mirror setup to see back out through my windshield. If they ever move the steering wheel into the trunk, I will be ready.

Back to Britney. As a busy, 24 year old mother, she has a lot going on, plus a new baby on the way. It’s easy to criticize - I could even raise a few more “questions”:

• Is that baby wearing sunscreen?
• When was the last time he was fed or changed?
• Were those clothes washed in Dreft?

In my humble parenting opinion, when the kid is over 20 pounds and can hold his head up, he is too big for an infant car seat and can graduate to the front-facing car seat. But hey! How about a hat?

I’m sure glad that I’m not followed around by photographers so that the world can scrutinize my parenting methods — I have a wife for that.

Entry Filed under: Parenting

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